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free speech

8/Feb
I sketched a ribcage today. with all the ribs and bones. I dunno why, but I like bones. coz everyone looks the same under the flesh. equilty suddenly makes perfect sense.  I am not so good at sketching, don't really like it even, coz i am such a bad drawer ( for someone who like art so much), well fuck it. I don't wanna sketch things my whole fucking life anyway.
I think I'm losing my passions for guitar, what should I do? 
I reckon teenage smoking is for fucking wuss. I don't smoke and I'm proud to be a healthy adolescent(shit I sound like a dag).  I will watch you die motherfucking junkies, you know who you are and you can't run from the truth!!! (excluding my dearest friends)
suddenly there's an urge to swear. what should I do? what have I become? 

25/FEB

I am in love with someone. I can't say his name cos I am scared that maybe he doesn't feel the same way as I do and he could be reading this right now (hi you!!!!).  He is the most amazing guy I've met in my life and I enjoyed his company so much when we went out and watched a movie last time. He's so sweet, nice, charming, not to mention cute :) I am so happy since I met him. He just blew my mind away. As soon as we are officially going out, I will tell the whole story here. But as for now, let's just let him remain my crush the cutie pie who can make me happy. 

There is a slight difference between the MADitators, for a few weeks now, we were just getting sick of each other. But I think we'll be fine. Everything will be. Life is wonderful when you're in love!!!! (sorry, i am just tooo happy :)

20/April
nothing much happened but so much has occurred. i couldnt remember any of it as i choose not too. they are too stressful to remember. but one ting for sure. today i am happy and content with my life. which is rather unusually. and i find myself listening to What A Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera. well. I like that song. so there :þthe lyrics pretty much sums up how I'm feeling right now. but maybe not all of it. o well. nothing's perfect. nor does anyone. so can you guess what's happening to me now? yes. I like someone. and find it pretty exciting.

"What A Girl Wants"

I wanna thank you, for giving me time to breathe
Like a rock you waited so patiently, while I got it together.
While I figured it out, I only looked but I never touched,
'Cause in my heart was a picture of us:
Holding hands, making plans,
And it's lucky for me, you understand.

What a girl wants, what a girl needs,
Whatever makes me happy and sets you free.
And I'm thanking you for knowing exactly.
What a girl wants, what a girl needs,
Whatever keeps me in your arms.
And I'm thanking you for giving it to me.

When a time I was blind, I was so confuse (yeah, yeah)
Run away is just to hide all from you.
But baby you knew me better, then I knew myself.
Say, "If you love something let it go.
If it comes back it's yours, and that's how you know.
It's for keeps, yeah, it's for sure."
And you're ready and willing to give me more [than]...

What a girl wants, what a girl needs,
Somebody sensitive, crazy, sexy, cool life too.
What a girl wants, what a girl needs,
Somebody who can come for her mind like you do.
What a girl wants, what a girl needs,
You let a girl know how much you,
Care about ourself
With the one who always knew.

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